Dark Sploosh

So here I am, checking this out like I promised. Starting with chapter one, I can see a bit of a familiar story here. Two sisters who both like some ...

Hello Astrid. I took a look at this like you asked, but to be honest it's nearly impossible for me to give an honest opinion on it. I've never even ...

Where do we start? You have a good first person viewpoint here. It sounds like a teenage girl should without becoming unlikeable, and flowed well enough that I didn't find ...

Hey, giving your story a look like you asked, since you were so kind to give mine a look. Now then, there's good and bad in this first chapter. The ...

Hello again, Wolf. Taking a look at this fantasy piece, as a fragment I would say it's good overall. By it's nature it's confusing because I have no idea who ...

Wolf, I'm very impressed. Although I have to be honest and say the subject matter is of little interest to me personally, I'm struck by how clean your writing is. ...

Hey. There were a bunch of formatting and punctuation errors which other people will tell you about, so I'll just talk about the plot. It's very refreshing to read something ...

You're a hell of a better writer than I was when I was your age. For criticisms, some of the descriptions got too laced with adjectives, and I get this ...

I was impressed with how much you break the fourth wall in the beginning, likely because I'm experimenting with something similar at the moment. That said, I can't help but ...

As I seem to always have to say at the beginning of my reviews, there were a lot of grammar errors, shift tenses, and other such problems that I won't ...

Hello. I don't normally read romance fiction, often because I find it's too grounded in reality, which I often find boring. That being the case, this may not be the ...

Hey. Haven't read any of those books you cited for inspiration, but I'll give this my best shot. Impressed overall. I like how Landon's blindness snuck up on reader. Wasn't ...

I feel I'll have to correct some of the grammar this time around. In addittion to there being more mistakes in this chapter than the last, it's hard for me ...

Told you I'd take a look at this. Now then, this was actually a really good first chapter. Right from the beginning we have a mystery that needs solved: what's ...

Well, now we have something happening to Emma. She's stuck in this medieval style village, wandering around and whatnot. This leads me to something which confused me: Emma is an ...